attachments .. attachments .. attachments .. and fear

Floating Thoughts - II

Journeys of the mind
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being a watcher for a while reveals some of the patterns the mind plays
it's a dangerous instrument, what's more dangerous is surrenduring to it
the mind bores from happiness, it looks for suffering to entertain, to nourish itself driven by its survival instinct
it can't survive when you are happy, because you don't think much, if you're suffering, worried or anxious, you think too much, and that's the peek of the mind joy
what freaks me out even more, is that we think, we are this instrument that we have
but we usually forget that we're not what we have

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Spontaneously Genuine
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It's genuine when it's spontanious, whatever it is
as a genuinity lover, i love ppl and things when they are in their original state
i love when ppl do things without thinking too much, because this is who they are without modification
perfection is a desease, perfection is not as beautiful as the word might seem, perfection is fake, imperfection is original
simply, just as is

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Manipulation
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trying to manipulate ppl's minds/thoughts is a disrespect to their ability to recognize it

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What's wrong?
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When someone asks this question, regardless of your situation, it most probably will make you feel that something is actually wrong, you might feel that you're worried or anxious
Some would fall for this
this question is a kind of a reminder of the most recent unpleasant feeling, even if you had a wonderful day
religion evangelists would use this trick highly, they would approach a person and say, you look troublesome, worried.. the person would then be surprised "how did you know?" even if they are not, because you can always say to any person "you look worried" and they will mostly approve, even if they were not, but by you simply saying so, they will feel so and relate to the most recent event that can make them feel not good enough even if small
be careful when you are asked this question, not to fall under its effect

Creating Memories

It's been a very long time since i last blogged, i somehow lost the desire to post as frequent, this was caused by subsequent rejections for my differences, i know, that i have already posted about handling rejection.. but i fell for that, and chose to smother my rebellious thoughts and calm down my whining mind..

However, here i go again, i know i paused for a while but i love blogging because i'm the type of person who loves and adores logs, those are traces of events, like audit logs and event logs in software development for example, or even mobile phone calls logs, activity logs.. i love logs, and i like to go back to my blog from time to time and examine the way i felt in certain periods of my life, remember the lessons that i learned, since i have a terribly bad memory i have to say, but anyways, going back to my blog, feels home sometimes.

I was recently thinking of something, a concept, that served me for so long, to enjoy my life and be a positive joyful person in times i could be very depressed instead. The concept was simple 'creating memories', creating good memories to re-live again by remembering them, bringing cheerful moments to my life, being enthusiastic about almost anything exciting and new, having the urge to do and accomplish new things, all of that, for the sake of creating memories.

So far so nice, but, here's what hit me, why go back to those memories in the first place, why waste my current present moment and go back to a more cheerful moment and live it, why not appreciate every single moment of my life just for the sake of living this exact moment because life is always, always the current present moment, life is never the past neither it's the future, it will be the future, but when that happens, it will then be a present moment, so your present is your past's future, the now is your future's past, so.. i'll still be enjoying my life, one moment at a time, and in the future, instead of watching the tape of my happy life, i will still be enjoying it.

I labeled this post 'My Philosophy', i might be changing that to 'My ever-changing philosophy'

Drowning

[Music] When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Goodbye

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Revive

Just like a warm breeze in a freezing cold winter..
like a deep breath
like a sincere smile
Just when I thought I forgot how to feel

A part.. a phase
that previously was not
and yet will happen again
just a  part.. a mere phase

Early Warning Signs

They started to appear in a rush, one at a time, blatantly warning.. leave.. leave.. now, yes now.. right now.. go just go and be safe! but just because she doesn't wanna hurt anyone, she's staying, knowing that this is the most stupidly insane decision to make, she's still staying.. and she knows, she will regret this saying, what was i thinking!

[Music] فيروز - يا سنيني اللي رح ترجعيلي, ارجعيلي شي مرة ارجعيلي