Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Happy New Year

Copyrights to Yasser Abu Thuraya

2010.. Layers of dust and yesterdays.. Shadows fading in the haze of what I couldn't say.. couldn't keep my promise of having a good year, will compensate in 2011
2011.. you WILL be a Happy New Year

Saturday, December 25, 2010

[Music] Let Me Be Your Wings

I wish I had wings.. my favorite childhood fairytale songs
Heaven isn't too far
Heaven is where you are
Let me be your wings
Let me be your only love

Let me be your wings
Let me be your only love
Let me take you far beyond the stars
Let me be your wings
Let me lift you high above
Everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours
Anything that you desire
Anything at all
Everyday I'll take you higher
And I'll never let you fall

Let me be your wings
Leave behind the world you know
For another world of wondrous things
We'll see the universe
And dance on Saturn's rings
Fly with me and I will be your wings

Heaven isn't too far
Heaven is where you are
Stay with me and
Let me be your (You will be my) wings

Monday, December 20, 2010

[Music] I can

Was pure like an angel, now further than an angel

I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings

mallagat -.-

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Instead of going for what they want, or at least what they need
Ppl go for the best of what's currently available
and i'm not sure they shouldn't

Friday, December 17, 2010


I wanna fly high so high
up to the nearest sky
i wanna stay there while it's blue
stay there while it's nice, very high

won't need you to take me there, i can go by my own
and i might find your ghost

have you ever thought
have you ever used your mind
have you questioned what's around
i bet most of us are blind

why are we so numb, selfish
why is humanity so ugly
why did God create pain
doesn't punishment at the end make no sense

what if he wanted it to be this way
and judged based on that
what if your creator didn't suit your logic
what if your logic was the insane
what if i were wrong

who defines wrong?
who defines it all
how do we know
and according to what, we go?!

i wish to know
but when i think of it, i lose interest
why? who cares
what if he cared, God?
what if he was strict?
what if he didn't forgive

and he does hurt so well, oh he does hurt so strong...... i surely know!!
in fact, NOW i know

why is life, and ppl's creation, is done without their permission?
didn't God say he gave choice to mountains and they refused and he gave choice to man & he accepted..
i try to revive my memory but i can't remember anyone giving me a choice
i'm here, as all of you, totally against my will

and most of the simplest things are forbidden!!
but why is that, why doesn't it make sense anymore?
and at the same time feels right?? but feels so wrong!!
why doesn't the 'nagging-why' stop
& why do i have to worry anyways?

do numbers matter, fly my dearest soul
and when you reach
ill be safe, ill only be relieved, when you reach the bluest sky


Thursday, December 16, 2010

[Music] Animal Instinct

Do you know you made me cry
Do you know you made me die

And the thing that gets to me
Is you'll never really see
And the thing that freaks me out
Is I'll always be in doubt

Friday, December 10, 2010

How can you...

How can i possibly feel what i barely thought i wud, then get frightened
How can i possibly find what really interests me, and let go
How can i fear my feelings, pre-judge, predict what's gonna happen based on previous failures
How can i love what i see and forget it the sooner i leave
How can i quit as quick, and give up on the comfort silence
How can i possibly feel all that joy and slip on the first obstacle, surrender to the first challenge.. rather than facing it i escape to my own corner of solitude..
how can i possibly enjoy my comfort zone of loneliness and still fear its long lasting constant companion
can i be more rude? do i even want a reason to?
what if all i needed was a thought.. a reconsideration... a heart beat!

what if my words were understood, what if that was figured
wud it ever matter? meh....

It's almost 5 a.m and i still can't sleep

Thursday, December 9, 2010


The more i think, the less i believe
It just doesn't make sense to me anymore!
And it makes me upset not knowing where i stand

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Clavicle Bone Fracture

I managed to cause myself a clavicle bone fracture through a horrible car accident, the pain was severe & insurmountable to begin with.. I screamed like i was dying at the hospital and couldn't stop till my leg coincidently supported my arm & stopped it from moving the bone so they could give me Pethidine (analgesic used for pain particularly after an operation or during child birth). I have learned & observed things throughout this experience...

1. When you are in severe pain, no other thought crosses your mind, no thought whatsoever.. only the pain you're currently feeling, if it lasts for a minute, all you think of is the pain during this minute.. You scream as a failed attempt to escape the pain, when you're out of breath, you find out the pain is still there, so you scream louder, the pain is still there, you scream way louder, infinite loop... till something, anything happens..

2. Pain killers never kill bone fracture pain, they only get you high enough to shut it up or put you to sleep.

3. When someone is screaming loudly when you touch their arm, that means they're in pain and Not they're rude, don't take it personally.. ugly doctors!

4. Such events reveal true friends, the ones I didn't even need this event to reveal... my best friend, the one who I first called when i was waiting for the ambulance, who immediately left work & came to the hospital, who stopped the fucked up nurses from touching my hand, and who eventually stayed with me daily since then!

5. First thought that came to my mind when I could think, was why the hell do ppl have children... was this life very fancy that they wanted to get us to try it!! Don't curse more ppl with this life...

6. After that, I felt for every creature who had ever broke a bone...this is me, a basic human, not even a mother.. just someone who felt it and wished I could have the power to erase such pain from existance... then it hit me, how could God, the one who said he's the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy, how could he allow this to happen!

7. When my mom told me, the pain erases sins, i thought, if this is the case, why wudn't God simply erase them without torture?!