‎"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

in pain

Broken and in pain, I walk under the rain. Totally in vain, my shields are back again..

Let me tell you something you already know.. Remind you

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son, you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.
I stopped thinking the way other people think a long time ago, you gotta think like you think."

From Rocky Balboa by Sylvester Stallone.

too tired

too tired to focus.. too tired to sleep
just throw my heart away.. i'm too tired to weep

the more i'm happy the more i'm sad.. the more i'm good the more i'm bad..

Existence

It's all in your mind, only in the mind.. ALL of it, doesn't even exist
Prove that you exist, you can't..
If you may use your senses to conclude the truth of your existence, they are insufficient for such case, because the mind is what processes all their input and interprets them to things you may feel, see, hear, smell or taste.. so it's all in the mind..

Prove that your body exists, you can't, if you may say I feel my body, i'll introduce phantom pain and phantom sensation phenomena, where one actually feels and senses non-existing body parts, and feels pain as well in them, like crushing or burning in non-existing body parts.. those ppl who experience this are mentally healthy, this kind of pain or sensation is usually following a limb loss, they feel their body part despite it doesn't exist.. because it's all in the mind, and thus, feeling something fails to prove it exists..

Same goes for eyes, what we see is not necessarily what exists.. we don't see the same world as seen by a dog, a cat, a bull or even a fly.. each of which see the world differently based on the specs of the equipment they have -the eye(s)- and the way their brain interprets it.. the mind is a very powerful instrument and can be easily manipulated, some drugs will cause your mind to visualize things that do not exist, how can you prove, based on what you see, that it's not your mind creating them, just as the lucid dreams? you can't rely on what you see.

Same goes for smelling, hearing and tasting.. it's ALL in the mind, the theory of "nothing exists" can't be proven wrong nor right, it will remain an unanswered question..

Hell

We're all in hell.. you've been killed! don't you remember?!

Contempt

It's way beyond that, you fucked up mediocre typical piece of shit..
and i find pleasure in hating you!!

I just admire the golden streetlight reflections on an empty wet street at night

Absolutness

Nothing is right
Nothing is wrong
Nothing is absolute
Including this very thought

Frozen Rain in The North of Heaven

A peace of ice lingers within, too cold that it hurts
She smiles, absently
Entering the gates of heaven was bizarre, more than she thought it would be, moreover, full of promising fanciful illusions
She's still scared of proceeding forward, terrified of the unrevealed
She learned in her earthly life to face fear of the unknown with curiosity
Nevertheless, she's not sure she can afford another wound, much deeper this time
She knows, nothing is for free, a simple mistake will inflame her soul to vanish
Does she have the choice anymore, she wonders..
Is it too late to go back home? is she too lost to be saved now?
Her perpetual state of stillness immobilized her heart back on earth, her coping mechanism was to always seclude herself to her comfort corner of silent careless solitude, "If I don't allow anyone near me, I won't get hurt", she thought, "If I don't care, I won't be vulnerable".
She wanders until she reaches the frozen rain, she deeply inhales the smell of it, like the last breath of the drowning, peacefully washing her itching doubts away
Awakened to the devil around her, she shivers, he looks her gently into her confused eyes
His sublime smile is a beautiful lie, he holds her tightly and implies: "Trust Me"..
Bewitched her soul, she forsakes her guardian shields, gives in and flies away

Deadly deadly

Nothing is real
Nothing exists
It's all in the mind
In MY mind
It's all a moment in a random brain
Nothing physical
Nothing of you exists
Neither does my physical form
Only my thoughts and I
Let's fly..
Let's die..

"It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beginnings

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living" - Steven Rogers

The Ultimate God

He's the man who thinks he knows it all, and judges accordingly
he's the man who looks in the mirror and sees the ultimate perfect God
and I miss the friend he was..