Agnostic

The more i think, the less i believe
It just doesn't make sense to me anymore!
And it makes me upset not knowing where i stand

Clavicle Bone Fracture

I managed to cause myself a clavicle bone fracture through a horrible car accident, the pain was severe & insurmountable to begin with.. I screamed like i was dying at the hospital and couldn't stop till my leg coincidently supported my arm & stopped it from moving the bone so they could give me Pethidine (analgesic used for pain particularly after an operation or during child birth). I have learned & observed things throughout this experience...

1. When you are in severe pain, no other thought crosses your mind, no thought whatsoever.. only the pain you're currently feeling, if it lasts for a minute, all you think of is the pain during this minute.. You scream as a failed attempt to escape the pain, when you're out of breath, you find out the pain is still there, so you scream louder, the pain is still there, you scream way louder, infinite loop... till something, anything happens..

2. Pain killers never kill bone fracture pain, they only get you high enough to shut it up or put you to sleep.

3. When someone is screaming loudly when you touch their arm, that means they're in pain and Not they're rude, don't take it personally.. ugly doctors!

4. Such events reveal true friends, the ones I didn't even need this event to reveal... my best friend, the one who I first called when i was waiting for the ambulance, who immediately left work & came to the hospital, who stopped the fucked up nurses from touching my hand, and who eventually stayed with me daily since then!

5. First thought that came to my mind when I could think, was why the hell do ppl have children... was this life very fancy that they wanted to get us to try it!! Don't curse more ppl with this life...

6. After that, I felt for every creature who had ever broke a bone...this is me, a basic human, not even a mother.. just someone who felt it and wished I could have the power to erase such pain from existance... then it hit me, how could God, the one who said he's the Most Merciful, the Dispenser of Mercy, how could he allow this to happen!

7. When my mom told me, the pain erases sins, i thought, if this is the case, why wudn't God simply erase them without torture?!

No flying around anymore..
I feel like there's a black hole right in my brain's nucleus!

Packing Buddy

It's hosted live now, but the prototype is not yet finished, however I added a sample demo to be viewed, you may visit it here.
Still needs lots of work.. I need a UI designer/developer!!

Asshole Wannabe

"You're not an asshole. You're just trying so hard to be."

It's time to hate

Prayers.. Never got answered, I pleaded & prayed till I lost my faith..
Numbing.. Never worked out..
Hating as a coping mechanism..
Works like magic!!
i HATE you :)

I'm flying without wings...

YallaStartup Weekend ~ Back to Amman

I got back last week but didn't get the time to write anything..
We're done.. and we got recognized as the most hard working team there :)
And we got positive feedback from more than 5 organizations!
our PackingBuddy rocks and soon we'll post a sample prototype online

The hardest part was the way back to Amman, 12 hours in the bus... and my feet became like the GOM player!!

Exorcism of the wireframe

Disclaimer: No warranties guaranteed for this post, or any post anyways!

We had to do an exorcism process to the laptop running the 3D part of our project this evening...
The project is going so well so far, 2 new members (a UI designer/developer, and a real good programmer girl) joined my team today so now we're 7, the components are almost ready, integrating them, getting the 4 minutes presentation slides ready, multiple interested clients and investors, all ppl around saying "Ooh that's so fucking Awesome!", programming while crossing fingers to win the first or second place...
Spent a great evening in Jummaizeh/Beirut with very nice ppl and the Yahoo! Ba66ah...

Tomorrow is gonna be the big day, we either close some deal(s), and then celebrate at one of Beirut's best places, or get disappointed and forget about it at one of Beirut's best places as well...

I played the pope role in the exorcism this evening, and i learned a new lebanese vocab first thing in the morning by one of my team members cz he didn't believe what I achieved then was actually mine!! (fannaSah)...

I'm so enjoying this event !

YallaStartup Weekend - To Be Continued...

YallaStartup Weekend is a very nice technical event at Beirut, the whole thing is highly organized.. I pitched my project idea and got enough votes to win, recruited a team of 4 developers + myself (although I highly needed a 3D designer and the event really lacked designers, but we can manage for now) and now working with the team during the weekend to get the project prototype ready by the end of Sunday... I'm so enjoying and excited... sleeping in sleeping bags and having showers at the gym section showers, working on round tables with a highly motivated and enthusiastic team...

The bad thing is, I gotta wake up very early in the morning!!

(To Be Continued...)